Week 9 – The derail and brain dump continues!

No weigh in this week & posting a day early as we fly to Brussels for a long w/e 10am tom… Mmm… mussels+chips & beer & choc covered marzipan! NOM!

I started out for quite a positive week on Sunday, decided I would be strong ahead of our weekend away….

….I caught up on lots of jobs; washing ironing, food prep inc. a batch cook of sweet potato soup, and had a great leg session:

Squat(not inc. bar): 10kg x15reps, 20×12, 30×9, 40×6(ass to grass – not great form, wanna get stronger/more confident before weight goes up)
LegPress: 50kgx15reps, 100×12, 150×9, 200×6 (heavy! Nit great form) 100x(10reps@round the clock positions on plate; feet 2gether@ 12, feet wide@ 11+1, 7+5, 2gether@6)OweeEee!!!
SLDL(DBs): 12kgx15reps x3sets (great mind/muscle connection on these!)
Lunges: JustMyFatAssx15reps (each leg) x1set stationary, x1set ‘normal’, x1set’normal'(extra set! Chuffed!)
Stairbiatch x20mins (L10)

And stuck to diet

Monday, again quite positive, stuck to diet, morning walkies and went to gym:

InclineDBChestPress: 10kgx15reps, 12×12, 14×9, 16×9, 18×6(stuck with 18s but was really strong)
CableFly: 5kg(each stack)x15reps, 6.25×12, 7.5×9, 10×6(range of motion increasing nicely now, LOT improved)
SingleArmCableCurls: 2.5kgx15reps, 3.25×12, 5×9, 7.5×6(really strong)
AssistedChinUps: 65kgsx15reps, 60×12, 55×9, 50×6(5 off assistance – better – down 5 again nxt wk)
RomanChair: 3x15reps
20mins stairbitch(L10)

Tuesday, not so positive. Gave in to the pain/DOMS and skived all exercise, diet slipped with fried egg sarnies for dinner

Wednesday, was deliberating on positivity, but as Marks Bday and he’d been in Leeds since Mon, decided to spend evening with him and skive gym, oh and had nommy M&S food for dinner!

Thursday, no gym or sticking to diet plans.

Diets has only slipped in an evening, have stuck to prepped food through day.

I do however feel UBER positive about getting back on it as of Monday! 🙂

There is then 9 weeks until our hols in Dec and no events to derail along the way. There’s my bday long w/e endov Oct but we’re not going away, just gonna chill, so no excuse.


Was just going to share the two blog posts below with you, but then last night was reminded of Arthur, he’s amazing! Makes me cry everytime! You have been warned 🙂 :



As I say have read a couple of great posts this week:

The first by Pauline Nordin: http://www.muscleandfitnesshers.com/blogs/pauline-nordin/shut-already

(edited by me for me – see link above for original post)

It all starts with what we think.

It all ends up with what we think.

How we reason about issues, difficulties and challenges.

 I became interested in exercise because I liked the way athletes look. I fell in love with weight training and intense exercise because it made me look a certain way and I felt great after working out.

Those who train to look lean do cardio for aesthetic reasons.

There is no way around it, especially not if Mother Nature intended for you to be a bit thicker than you like.

Let me comfort you in telling you it’s a long road, uphill that seems to never stop!

But don’t give up, because you chose this. No one told you to do it.


Forget the ‘oh, poor me!’ crap.

Forget the ‘I need to do this much more than everybody else’.

Forget the ‘it is so unfair!’.

Forget the ‘why do I have to do this and that girl over there is all lean from doing less’.

 I constantly have to remind myself when those nagging thoughts arise that I, Fiona Mackenzie decided I wanted to look a certain way.

I tell myself, of course I need to do more and need to have more perseverance than most people because my goals and my standards tend to be higher than those of the average person.

I can either settle for less (which is fine for some), or I can stop feeling sorry for myself, stop complaining and take it one day at a time just being happy I am physically capable of doing this. I should be grateful I have two strong legs and one strong heart!


So, I shut up and just do.

Because, I do not follow some order from some higher power saying I have to do this, abstain from that, or look a certain way. Only I am responsible for this decision.

And in some way it gives me a high, knowing that I am stronger than most people and that I inspire others to be even stronger.

Gotta be tough on yourself to improve and keep the morale up!


The Second by Sage Burgener of Invictus: http://www.crossfitinvictus.com/must-read-posts/mental-toughness/

(edited by me for me – see link above for original post)


First, you need to decide what you are going to do.

This may sound like a simple step, or like you’ve already done it, but let me tell you, it’s the hardest, and most important step in being tough.

Once you make the commitment to do something, then almost nothing can stop you.

This is why it took me so long to decide. I knew once I committed, nothing was going to stop me from achieving my goals, no matter what the costs, or how much workouts sucked, or how badly my body felt.

So, you have to really really really decide what you want to do. Once you decide this, the process will be easy.

When you commit, it’s easier to block weaknesses out of your head, and workouts will seem like steps forward to your goal, rather than burdens.

When you commit, I really believe you can do anything. Really take this decision seriously though, because if you only “half” decide you want to do it, or do it for “fun”, then you shouldn’t even worry and just train whenever you want to and not care about how a workout goes. If you decide to do it for “fun”, then you can’t be bothered by any performance at any meet, because you decided not to take it seriously.

Now, either decision in your case wouldn’t be a bad one, just make sure you stick to your choice wholeheartedly.


A great book talked about how when someone commits to something, they should do it all the way, and be satisfied with whatever the outcome.

So if you commit and start training as hard as you can, you have to be comfortable with the possibility that you may succeed tremendously, or fail miserably (in terms of winning and losing).

The important thing is that you committed, and you did everything you could to make it happen. Trust me, if you do that, the thoughts about winning and losing seem to almost disappear. It’s about overcoming yourself, and pushing yourself to become greater than you were the day before, that’s what really matters.


Another great book, whilst I don’t agree with a lot of points (it’s an atheist book that talks a lot about being selfish), has a lot of great points about pushing yourself to your highest potential.

It talks mostly about pushing yourself in terms of knowledge and creativity, but I think a lot of it applies to life as well. Basically, every decision you make should be a conscious one in becoming a better person. Every decision you make has meaning to it, and you pursue a better self constantly. The friends you choose, the people you surround yourself with, the food you eat, the books you read, the television you watch, how much sleep you get, everything should be a stern decision that makes you go in a better direction. Surround yourself with people who want to make themselves better, and who in turn push you to make you better.

One of the big points in the book is the “will to power”, which basically means that when you conquer yourself and get rid of everything that has once held you back, you can “will” yourself to do anything. This is really difficult to achieve, but think about how much it could help if you just strive for it. If every time you have a bad day, or feel a negative emotion, or have a bad workout, you “will” yourself out of the poor mindset, refusing to let it beat you down, and just continue your journey in becoming the best you can be.

I’m not saying you can be like this every day, but the important issue is that you are truly DOING it. You’ll slip up, you’ll still have bad days, but as long as your’re moving forward, and not letting yourself continue to slip, then there’s nothing you can’t do.

Mental toughness for me has always been hard to explain. I’ve never really thought that I was mentally tough, but the reason why I was successful in meets is because I KNEW what I was capable of.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to quit, or give up, but I didn’t because I committed to what I was doing. That was one thing Mom and Dad taught us that is invaluable; to never quit.

When you commit to whatever it is in life, make sure it’s a positive direction, and just don’t quit. Fight with all of your being to achieve what you set out to, and know that you’re becoming a better person because of it.

So even if you have a bad day, or hate Crossfit, or lifting, or school, or whatever it is, you can still have the confidence that what you’re doing is making you better in some way, and that is a beautiful feeling.

A lot of this may not seem like it pertains to mental toughness, but when you think about it, what does that mean anyway?

Toughness means you fight through pain, or discomfort, and continue striving forward. But why would you do this in the first place?

It seems against our nature to put ourselves through pain and discomfort, so why bother?

The answer is this; because we are committed to making ourselves better, committed to be something greater than what we currently are. Think about the people who are tough, the one thing they have in common is that they’ve committed to something. Whether it’s becoming healthy, smarter, a better parent, or a champion, they decided it was what they wanted, and they didn’t care how hard it became, or what obstacles showed up, nothing was going to stop them from following through with the decision they made.


The last thing I’m going to say is that while all of this seems draining, and challenging, it also has to be fun.

Commitments can be joyous, they don’t have to be discouraging and hard all the time.

I committed to being a husband, that doesn’t mean it’s a burden. It’s challenging, and tough at times, but I love every minute of it because I DECIDED that it was what I wanted to be.

So take comfort in knowing that no matter what decision you make, or what direction you want to pursue, it’s going to be amazing because it’s your path, your decision, your direction.

There’s beauty in the successes and the failures of your journey. Soak up every ounce of it and know that you’re becoming a better human being.“


Something to think about, gonna print these out and read them every morning and night as affirmations.

Last week I meant to comment/discuss my thought surrounding my journey and competing and I got a bit side tracked.

I’m still not sure where I am. One thought though is that I’m not sure I’m interested in doing what it would take to win. I plan to step on the stage again but more to keep me on track. Certainly at the moment, I’m not that committed. I LOVE the life Mark & I have and I don’t want to take BBing to a level where I think it would encroach too much.

A good friend keeps commenting on her journey, and whilst I was hearing I don’t think I was listening. Last weekend I understood better her point of view, and I think that would be a better/healthier approach for me; to think of the stage appearances as highlights along the journey not as an end point.

I’m struggling cos 2010 was me achieving the dream of loOong time that I didn’t know if I would achieve or not.

I saw it as an end point after not a highlight on a journey, and after that point I’ve been abit lost.

Do I want to do it again? Hell Yes!… but mainly cos it’s the only thing that’s got me the body I always wanted, not cos I want to win.

2010 I totally had the mindset above; “nothing was going to stop me from achieving my goals, no matter what the costs, or how much workouts sucked, or how badly my body felt.”

I was totally focussed on a mission, I don’t know whether I can get that mind set back, but the goal/purpose is different this time?

I knew I couldn’t keep that up, but didn’t know what the next step was.

So I’m thinking, and poss reading the above as affirmation each day will help me formulate goals/plans?

But now… FUN!

Have a great w/e everyone

🙂 xx


2 thoughts on “Week 9 – The derail and brain dump continues!

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