Weeks 13+14

Sorry for the missing update last week 😦

The past 2 weeks have been fabulous and awful…

Fabulous – It was my bday and my gorgeous hubby spoilt me rotten!
Awful – I lost control/gave in to my diet demons and have been like an addict binging on carbs behind closed doors.

The end result is that I got away with ½ lb gain, so very pleased with that, but soOo disappointed with myself for letting you all down.

I have been thinking about why I do this – derail – and these are just random thought in no order/relevance/importance:

  •  Whilst I say I hate being this size/shape, it is easy/comfortable, blending in to overweight anonymity.
  • I rmbr just before I went off rails thinking I feel slimmer and was a little bit scared by that…why?
  • If I get to where I want to be, people will look to me for inspiration and guidance, that’s a responsibility. It is a nice one, one I do want, if I’m able it’s a very positive thing to be able to do for others.
  • If I get to where I want to be, people will look at me and constantly assess my figure, again being an inspiartion, but lots of pressure?
  • I’ve been where I want to be, almost, and lost the plot once before, why will this time be different? Why/how ill I maintain?
  • I feel addicted to carbs and feel a period of abstinence could be good for me. Mark is avoiding wheat, so there’s now no bread in the house, and won’t be. If it’s there it’s easy to toast and add ‘things’ to, if it’s not we won’t! The Smarter Science of Slim is in line with this, using vegetables as carb sources and cutting all refined carbs, keeping protein high with moderate fats. Some fruit is allowed but more berries and citrus than higher carb choices.
  • Self chastising. I said in week 9’s post that I was going to read some affirmation passages each am/pm, I have not. I think I must do this. I am really very good at beating myself up, always have been. And that’s fine to an extent but I don’t/would not stand for others to talk to me the way I talk to myself! And I would certainly not find it encouraging/inspirational!

So for the next 5 weeks until our hols I’m going to keep it VERY repetitive and VERY boring just to get back on track, I can’t cope trying to make it interesting that’s when I veer off course:

Wake: 1/2L Water

PreAM Cardio: L-Carnitine+GreenT extract (just cos I have it to use up, it’s foul!) + coffee

During/Post AM Cardio: 1L Water

Breakki: 2 whole eggs made up to 150ml with egg whites scrambled+7 slices BernardMatthewsWaterThinHam+Dash French’s Mustard + Tea + MultiVits

1/2L Water

Meal 2: 150g Cauliflower Mash+150g WhiteFish*

1/2L Water

Lunch: 125g SweetPotato made into soup+150g Chkn**

1/2L Water

Meal 4: 150g Cauliflower Mash+150g WhiteFish

During WO 1L Water

Immediate Post WO: 25g-ish ProteinShake (both weights and cardio only session, it helps with my blood sugar/appetite regulation)

30mins Post WO: 1/2L water with 1/2Tsp CalMag & 1/2Tsp L-Glutamine

Meal 6: 150g Cauliflower Mash+150g LeanMince+GreenVeg+Can PepsiMax

* & ** – Will post recipes for these next week I promise!

I had a massoive cook off the other week and pretty much have supplies for the next month for this diet pre-portioned in the freezer!

Mark & I are in alignment on cutting alcohol for the next month.

Cheats may occur once a week but will be clean-ish, not necessarily no/low carb but no take aways. Tho I wouldn’t have a prob with a chicken kebab.

I plan to exercise 7 days, twice on weekdays, once a day at w/e’s. I will plan legs for a w/e as I have noticed it throws my double sessions if done on a weekday.

I think key is the point on learning not to beat myself up all the time. Telling myself I’m rubbish a lot when I don’t stick to the plan 110% is a self perpetuating affirmation in its’ self eh?!























🙂 xx


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